Show Don’t Tell

Happy New Year, y’all. I hope you’re having a great 2024 so far.

The last couple of years have been a little hard for me and I know they’ve been rough for some of you too.

My mother’s health has been failing and it’s not easy being a caregiver. Of course, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love to take care of her. God gives me the strength I need.

I hope to get back into writing this year. I’m not sure I still remember how to write so I have listed some basic writers’ tips regarding show vs. tell.

I know I can use the refresher. Hopefully, you can too.

So, how do we know when telling slips into showing or vice versa?

Below I have listed a few techniques to help us spot telling in our manuscript.

• Naming emotions

She was sad.

This doesn’t tell the reader much. As we know emotions are layered on top of one another. We can show her emotions like this:

Tears ran down Sara’s cheeks. How could he have forgotten his promise? She grabbed Bill’s picture on her nightstand and threw it across the room.

Much better don’t you think?

• Descriptive dialogue tags

She said sadly, angrily, etc. 

• Don’t explain motivation by using “to.”

Liz went to the woodshed to get an axe.

Liz stomped to the woodshed and grabbed an axe.

• Watch out for helping and state of being verbs

May, might must be, being, been, am, is would, could was, have, had

• Choose stronger more active verbs

Melanie had trouble breathing

Melanie grabbed her stomach and bent over gasping for air

• Realized and Wondered as thoughts

Kate realized she’d locked her keys in the car.

Kate yanked on the car door. Her keys dangled in the ignition.

• Saw, smell, heard, felt, tasted

Pat heard a gunshot in the distance.

A gunshot exploded over the treetops.

• Immediately, suddenly, finally

They rarely add anything

Can be shown in other ways

• Adjective generalities

An amazing view

A big dog

• Show and make specific.

In writing fiction I’ve learned to give the character(s) at least one trait that distinguishes them and makes them seem real.

Of course, the entire book can’t be showing or the book would be thousands of pages. Some telling is always necessary.

These tips come from Showing and Telling in Fiction by Marcy Kennedy. I highly recommend this book.

Happy 2024 to everyone and please visit the Storyteller Squad weekly.

Source:  Showing and Telling in Fiction, Marcy Kennedy