Are your kids following the script?

When I was expecting our first child, I devoured parenting books and magazines in the hopes of learning how to be the best mom ever. The thing of it is, as the years passed, the more I read and the more I tried, the more aware I became of how I wasn’t the perfect mom and that sometimes, although I performed to my best ability, the results were nothing like that of what I had read and expected. I began to feel like a failure because my kids didn’t follow the script. Despite my intentions, I didn’t always follow the script either. I concluded then that there must be something wrong with me.

Today, I want to dispel that lie, so that you won’t fall into this trap.

There is no one-size-fits-all human script

See, our kids are individuals. We are individuals. The people writing the books, magazine articles, and blog posts are individuals. All of us, created in God’s image, shine as unique creations. We’re NOT supposed to be like anyone else, so let’s just shake, shake, shake that nasty thought off that says we have to be like everyone else.

Wow! Doesn’t it feel freeing? (Go ahead, do a happy dance, a cartwheel, shout to the Lord, whatever your heart is bursting to do.)

The truth is, only God can help us with our personal scripts.

Parenting isn’t a scientific experiment

Only God knows the many variables in a situation. Raising kids is not like a scientific experiment (state the problem, gather the information, formulate a hypothesis, test the hypothesis, record and analyze, and state the conclusions). In parenting we can’t get a control group for standard comparison with the experimental group because our constants are different, not to mention all the variables that can be thrown in. There’s more than one way to parent.

Comparing families is impossible and not recommended. We aren’t supposed to compare because we are all unique on purpose.

Focus on what God says

Rather than focusing on human wisdom, the best way to parent is to focus on Godly wisdom. I still read books, articles, and blogs because they offer value; however, I understand better now that if I try something and it doesn’t work for me, it is no reflection upon me or my child(ren).

No matter where you are on the parenting journey, the best way to approach a situation is to take it to God. Read the Bible to grow wiser, pray about everything, and trust Him. Sneak away for some quiet and listen. (Yeah, yeah, I know hiding in the bathroom doesn’t work, but you can wiggle in some quiet time during a walk, a child’s nap, or while waiting for a practice to conclude. It doesn’t have to be a huge chunk. Just a little can go a long way.)

Read Bible with children at all ages

Second, read the Bible with your children. Read stories from the actual Bible. Read chapter by chapter sometimes. Talk about it. Just spending time together in God’s Word honors God, who will in turn bless your family. (Isaiah 55:11 says, “My word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Romans 10:17 says, “Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.)

Third, just love on your children. Know them and what their interests are. Hang out. Read, play, work together, go to church and other places together.

Fourth, instill respect. Respect for God. Respect for parents. Respect for themselves. Respect for others.

God doesn’t make mistakes

People make mistakes. No one is perfect, yet God still loves us. Love one another (1 John 3:23, 1 Peter 3:8, Ephesians 4:2).

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6). Bring children up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4b).

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

I’ve been a parent for over 30 years, and the one thing I know to be true is that if I put God first, He’ll work out all the details. God’s script is the only one that matters, and He loves your family very much. When life gets off track, call out to Him for help, and He will help at just the right moment.

How have you overcome parenting insecurities?

Credits

Featured Image photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash. Photo of painted girl by Senjuti Kundu on Unsplash. Photo of science lab by Trnava University on Unsplash.