The MRU and You

Let me tell you a story:

“That’ll be $160, please.” The Girl Scout twirled her strawberry hair and grinned.

How am I going to pay for Cindy’s dance classes now?

Bill yanked all the cash out of his wallet, his hands shaking. “Here you go.” His voice cracked as he said the words.

He shoved the money into her grimy little paws. He had to get out of there.

He glanced over at the sun. It glared just over the interstate onramp. He turned his attention back at the little girl in front of him. He shouldn’t be here, but they were so good.

“Thanks, Mister.” The Girl Scout smiled, as she handed him the case of Thin Mints.

Bill threw the cookies into the back of his car. The sun was now hidden from view. His tires squealed as he zoomed toward I-5. “That was close. Too close.” Bill shivered.

In the rearview mirror, the Girl Scout pounced on a stray cat after she had transformed into a hideous monster.

End Scene.

Wowee! Talk about reader whiplash. What is going on in this story is a serious case of mixed-up MRUs.

MRU stands for Motivation-Reaction Units. They became famous after Dwight V. Swain wrote about them in Techniques of the Selling Writer. Basically, it’s cause and effect, or what motivates a reaction in your characters. The order in which you write it needs to make logical sense to your reader. It’s confusing to have a character scream, and then show the murderer at the screen door with a knife. We need to see the gleam of the knife and the sadistic smile of the murderer first in order for the scream to make sense.

MRUs must come in the right order: Motivation and/or causes lead to (Reactions) Feelings/Thoughts,  which lead to  Actions, which lead to  Speech. This makes sense to us because that is how we react in real life.

For Instance:

Our beloved teacup poodle, Brutus, savagely barks at the screen door (Motivation). We wonder what it could be (Feelings/Thoughts), so we get up to look outside (Action). When we see the raccoon digging into our garbage, we yell, “Hey, get out of here you rascal!” (Speech).

Now, there may be times when you get an itch to break the rules. Sometimes you don’t need all the parts of the reaction and all you need is a bit of dialogue. That’s okay. If your dialogue makes perfect logical sense in your scene, go ahead and leave off the feelings and action parts. Or maybe your dialogue wants to step in front of your feelings. If it makes sense and works best for the scene, break the rules, you MRU rebel. As long as you can create logical and clear prose, play away.

Here is the revised scene with Bill and our monstrous Girl Scout with proper MRUs :

Bill glanced at the sun. It glared just over the interstate onramp. He shouldn’t be here, but they were so good.

He turned his attention back to the little girl in front of him.

“That’ll be $160, please.” The Girl Scout twirled her strawberry hair and grinned.

His stomach flopped. He’d have to figure out another way to pay for Cindy’s dance classes, but it would be worth it. His hands shook as he yanked all the cash out of his wallet. Shoving the money into her grimy little paws, his voice cracked as he said, “Here you go.”

“Thanks, Mister.” The Girl Scout smiled and handed him the case of Thin Mints.

Bill threw the cookies into the back of his car. The sun was now hidden from view as darkness descended. His tires squealed as he zoomed toward I-5.

In the rearview mirror, the Girl Scout transformed into a hideous monster, then pounced on a stray cat.

Bill shivered. “That was close. Too close.”

Be ruthless as you search out for mixed-up MRUs and show no mercy as you write for clarity and logic. Your readers will thank you for it.