Show and Tell for Writers

If you’ve been writing for any time at all you have heard the adage “show don’t tell.”

It is true that showing makes a book compelling and fun to read. All great writers are able to show the reader a different world and make them feel like they are a part of the story.

So how do we know when telling slips into showing or vice versa?

Below I have listed a few techniques to help us spot “telling” in our manuscript. Please remember that the entire manuscript cannot be “shown.” There is a time and place for telling but these pointers will help us spot places where showing would make the manuscript come to life.

Naming emotions

She was sad.

This doesn’t show the reader anything. As we all know, emotions are layered on top of one another. We always expereince emotions in batches.

Tears ran down Sara’s cheeks. How could he have forgotten his promise? She grabbed the picture of Bill on her nightstand and threw it across the room.

Much better—don’t you think.

Descriptive dialogue tags

She said sadly, angrily, etc.  These are not necessary. If you are writing the character effectively and staying in their POV the reader will know if they are sad or angry.

Don’t explain motivation by using “to.”

Liz went to the woodshed to get an axe.

BETTER

Liz stomped to the woodshed and grabbed an axe.

Watch out for helping and state of being verbs

May, might, must, be, being, been, am, is, would, could, was, have, had

Choose stronger more active verbs

Melanie had trouble breathing or Melanie bent over gasping in air.

Realized and Wondered as thoughts

Kate realized she’d locked her keys in the car.

Kate yanked on the car door. Her keys dangled in the ignition.

Saw, smell, heard, felt, tasted

Pat heard a gunshot in the distance.

A gunshot echoed over the treetops.

Immediately, suddenly, finally

They rarely add anything to the story and can be shown in other ways.

Adjective generalities

An amazing view

A big dog

These don’t show us anything. What about, a mangy, flea bitten dog or a pampered poodle with painted toenails. Two very different dogs! This is why it’s important to show specific details.

In writing flash fiction, I try to give the character(s) at least one trait that distinguishes them and makes them seem real. Not always easy but it does make a more vivid character in a limited amount of words.

So what about you? Do you have any tips for spotting telling and changing it to showing?

I’d love to learn from you.

Remember, if you leave a comment you will be entered in the drawing to win a book at the end of the month.

Source:  Showing and Telling in Fiction, Tongue Untied Communications, 2014

Marcy Kennedy