Writing Tip Wednesday: Dig Deep with Point of View

When I wrote my first novel, a critique partner handed it back and said, “You need to use a deep POV.”

My response: “Huh?”

I know “POV” stands for “point of view.” It means through whose eyes are we seeing the action? Through whose thoughts are we interpreting the surroundings? Through whose experiences are we feeling the emotions?

But what, I asked my critique partner, do you mean by deep POV?

“It’s the same thing,” she said. “Only, we’re making it real.”

Start by trading the taglines for action beats.

In my other life, I’m a newspaper writer. I am trained to attribute everything. It’s not my opinion. I am reporting what someone else said or did—just like above with the tagline “she said.”

My critique partner waved off my explanation. “How do you know they mean what they say? What’s coloring their statements?”

What was the person doing when he or she said those words? Those actions can reinforce the words. Or they might tell a different story. Deep point of view helps us see, feel, smell, touch, and taste exactly what the character is experiencing.

It’s the writer’s best friend, Show, Don’t Tell.

Here’s an example:

Brad’s fingers drummed the table. “This is ridiculous.” He glared at the door. “What’s keeping her?” He shot to his feet. His chair clattered over backward. Brad wheeled around and kicked it. “I said meet me in ten minutes. Did I not say ten minutes?” Brad slammed a fist into an open palm. “Of course I said ten minutes.” He paced a lap around the table. “Does she listen? Noooo.” Brad snatched the chair upright. “She never listens. Never, never, never, ever.” He slumped into the seat and crossed his arms. “It’s not my fault that we’re going to be late.”

Ol’ huffy Brad talked a lot in that paragraph. Not once did we use a tagline. If we had written, “This is ridiculous,” Brad said, we might have thought he was commenting about a silly cartoon.

But by punctuating Brad’s words with action beats, we feel the heat. We gained an understanding of Brad’s character—he’s impatient, has anger issues, and doesn’t handle setbacks well at all. We didn’t have to say any of those things. We witnessed it through deep POV.

Here’s another thing to keep in mind with deeper POV—get rid of phrases like “he thought” and “she felt.” Instead of writing “Caroline felt a bad case of nerves coming on. She thought she might throw up,” let’s get a deeper point of view from inside Caroline’s mind:

Caroline clutched her stomach. A whole pack of butterflies—butterflies in spiked leather jackets riding motorcycles—roared around her insides, slammed into her stomach, and ran races up and down her throat. She had to get this under control or… I’m going to lose my lunch—today’s and yesterday’s and every one from all week.

Now the writer has shown us how bad Caroline’s case of nerves are instead of writing the very trite, “Caroline felt very, very nervous.”

Use these ideas for more powerful, descriptive writing. Don’t forget to keep your character’s worldview in mind. Farm kids might think something’s as big and powerful as a tractor. Kids in the African savanna might compare a large and strong thing to an elephant instead. Tailor your POV to what your characters know. And let them dig deep.