A Writing Epidemic

There’s an epidemic in the writing world.

I see it a lot in indie published books (not a dig, just a fact). I see it more often than I should in books published through small presses. And every once in a long while, I catch it in a Big 5-pubbed book. It appears in blogposts, newspaper and magazine articles, in tweets, on Facebook, even in ads.

But just because you see everyone else doing it doesn’t make it right (contrary to what society would have you believe).

And whether you hope your manuscript rises to the surface of the slush pile in traditional publishing, or you hope to gain thousands of readers as an indie author, this is one area you don’t want to get wrong.

What am I talking about?

First, take a look at the following sentences and see if you can guess what I’m after:

• With one look at the smirk on Thor’s face, her frustration and anger increased.
• Rolling his eyes, Tony’s mind wandered to the previous week’s events.
• After snapping his fingers and ending the lives of half the universe, peace still eluded him.
• Walking into the antechamber, Fury’s pager beeped.
• Antsy to fight back, Scott’s knee bounced.

Have you figured it out? No, it has nothing to do with Marvel. That was just my way of recognizing the fact Endgame releases in two days. 😉

Each of these sentences suffer from a misplaced modifier. (And the reason I catch so many when reading is because my own early writing suffered from this same epidemic.) What is a modifier? It’s basically a word or phrase that describes something. Thus, any adjective is also a modifier.

Misplacing modifiers is a common mistake writers make, especially when we search for different ways to start a sentence other than “subject + verb.” We may start with the verb, but by the time we need the subject, we’ve forgotten all about it. And our brains fill in that missing piece so smoothly that most readers won’t catch the void.

So then, what’s the problem?

The problem comes when a sentence causes confusion in the reader, as in Sentence #3: Who snapped his fingers and ended so many lives? Or #5: Who walked into the antechamber? It also reveals amateur writing, which is a problem since we want to present our best writing to the world, not middle-of-the-road writing.

And if a savvy reader or writer happens upon our first book riddled with misplaced modifiers, he or she might not come back for our second one.

To quote from Bonnie Trenga’s book, The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier, “When a modifier starts a sentence, it needs to match up with what comes immediately after it.”* In most cases, this means whatever follows the comma.

If we glance back at my sample sentences, we’ll see that “her frustration and anger” is what apparently looks at Thor’s smirk; “Tony’s mind” rolls his eyes; “Peace” snapped his fingers; “Fury’s pager” walked into the room; and finally, “Scott’s knee” was antsy.

The fixes for these sentences are relatively simple. Other sentences you come across in your manuscript might require some more thought and rearranging.

• With one look at the smirk on Thor’s face, the Valkyrie gritted her teeth and curled her hands into fists.
• Rolling his eyes, Tony let his mind wander to the previous week’s events.
• After snapping his fingers and ending the lives of half the universe, Thanos found that peace still eluded him.
• Walking into the antechamber, Cap narrowed his eyes at Fury’s pager beeping in the corner.
• Antsy to fight back, Scott bounced his knee.

One more quick tip related to –ing words, also known as present participles. When you pair a present participle with another verb, make sure the two actions can realistically happen at the same time, since that is what the form implies. For example:

• Tying his shoelaces, Cap went for an early morning jog. (A person can’t tie his/her shoelaces and jog at the same time.)

• Drying his hands on the towel, Hawkeye answered the phone. (A person can’t dry both his/her hands and answer the phone at the same time, since at least one hand is needed for the second action.)

• Slipping on her shades, the Black Widow glanced at the rearview mirror. (Can this scenario happen? Yes, it can!)

So just pause for an extra beat whenever you start a sentence with a modifier or come across an –ing word. Ask yourself who or what is the subject, and/or if the actions can take place simultaneously. While you can bend some grammar rules (your story isn’t going to suffer from a few additional exclamation points, or even a few sentences peppered with prepositions), some other rules shouldn’t be broken (commas do not end sentences; periods so), and I would argue that how you approach modifiers falls into the second category.

Remember, our job as writers is to communicate ideas clearly, whether through the stroke of a pen or the strike of a key. Don’t let a simple thing like a misplaced modifier sully your efforts.

*I would recommend Trenga’s book to any serious writer. Its subtitle is How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing, and this quick, fun read does just that through chapters such as “The Tantalizing Tale of Passive Voice,” and “The Delicious Drama of the Weak Verb.” 🙂 Find it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/2XGp7KE.