Tracy Popolizio“Preteen.” That word used to make me cringe. Now, when I hear that word, I think about a simpler time. A time when I still felt I could parent my children. Although those days are gone, we are in another “pre” time in our lives. The “pretwenties.” No, it’s not a real word, but it should be. While there are countless books on raising toddlers, kids, and teenagers, I doubt there are as many on how to parent adult children (no, I didn’t research this point).
When my daughter turned eighteen, she suddenly knew more than my husband and I did and we found ourselves on the receiving end of statements rather than questions. “I’m going to buy this.” “I’m going to wear this.” “I’m going here.” We often looked at each other and wondered, “What happened?”
Somehow we made it, and now, on the brink of her twentieth birthday, we find ourselves once again asking, “What just happened? How do we handle this?”
The Lord gave me a very clear response one morning as I prepared for my women’s group. Our leader asked us to come ready to share our favorite parable and why it’s meaningful to us. Immediately the parable of the prodigal son came to my mind. I’d read it a bunch of times but as I refreshed my memory, the Lord showed me something I’d never seen before. For those of you unfamiliar with this parable, the son of a wealthy man asked his father for his portion of the inheritance. The man willingly gave it to him, and the son left his home and wasted all his money on sinful, worldly things. Eventually, when he had run out of money and food, and his life was at his lowest, he returned to his father. The father welcomed him graciously and prepared a feast for his return.
Two things really struck me. One, the father didn’t go after his son or forbid him to leave. We can infer that he was very much aware of his son’s lifestyle, but not once did he try to bring him back. The second thing was that the parable tells us he saw his son from far off. The father was watching, waiting, hoping, maybe expecting him to return. And when he did, his heart was prepared to greet him with no questions asked.
I realized very clearly I need to allow my adult children the freedom to live their lives, even if they mimic the prodigal son. While I wait for their return, I will pray, trust, and watch expectantly for their return. Because, as the Lord promises us, if we train our children the right way, they will return to it. (Proverbs 22:6)
If you are experiencing the same thing with me, be encouraged! Keep praying, keep declaring it, and they will return.
Julia N. White
Gretchen Carlson
Kristen Gwen