Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

They say confession is good for the soul so here goes.

My last post contained several typos. I cringed when I saw this and felt terrible, then I calmed down and wrote this post.

I confess. I am a reformed perfectionist. Always have been and probably deep down I always will be.  

To tell the truth, I’m not sure I’ve reformed.

Perfectionism has some good benefits.

1. It makes us strive to do our best at work, at home, and at school. Students want to make good grades and employees take pride in their work.
2. As Christians, we seek to please God.
3. As writers, we try to produce a quality product and hope our readers will enjoy our words.

Perfectionism has a dark side though.

1. We feel like our best is never good enough.
2. We think God is disappointed in us.
3. We become stymied in our writing, afraid we might use incorrect grammar or break one of those “writer rules.”

I strive for perfection in writing but I also crave perfection in everyday life. This makes perfectionism dangerous. I am my own worst critic. Never pretty enough, good enough, or talented enough.

Life as a perfectionist is not easy!

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that perfection is overrated. I don’t have to be perfect and every word I write doesn’t have to be award-winning. I’m entitled to have messy drafts and plot lines that just won’t develop. I can venture out in that wild crazy space called creativity and I don’t have to follow each and every craft rule.

How many times have you read a great book and noticed one broken rule after the other?  I have—many times. The author actually uses the dreaded “was” and “said” is used when a beat could have been added. Yet, the story is so compelling, and the characters so rich, I can’t put the book down.

Remember, most readers don’t know the “craft rules” and won’t be judging our stories. The reader wants the author to transport them to another time and place, introduce them to interesting people and pull them into an adventure.

If the manuscript is perfect, it will sound like a computer wrote it.

I am not saying don’t follow the “writer rules.” Rules are good. Learning “show don’t tell,” deep POV and many other techniques have strengthened my writing. When I look back at old manuscripts I cringe. Boy, did I break a lot of rules! Just be careful that the rules don’t stifle your creativity or steal your unique voice.

Perfectionism keeps people at a distance. Think about it, who do you relate to most, that perfect woman who never has a hair out of place and can crank out a prize worthy book in three months or the woman with mussed hair and frazzled nerves struggling to write 500 words a day?  

The truth is obvious and I must face the fact that I am a flawed human being.

I will never be perfect.

If God thought any of us were capable of perfection Jesus would not have gone to the cross.

I’m learning to accept myself with all my flaws. God created me to be me and if I lean on Him, He will help me become the best version of me possible. He will do the same for you.

Now you know my secret. I am a recovering perfectionist.

I’m praying that you won’t find any typos in this post but if you do the sun will still rise in the east and the ocean will keep churning. If not, I have a lot of power and I need to do something besides write.

Can you relate to this post? I’d love to hear about your struggles with perfectionism. Leave me a comment below.