MishaLast night, my thirteen-year-old niece sat in the passenger seat of my car while I zoomed through traffic on the interstate. I don’t get to hang out with her a lot, but thanks to spring break, I’m driving her around and “letting her chat my ear off” as my brother described it. She doesn’t hold back, this one, and she said, “I don’t want to get old. Old isn’t attractive.”
Rather than take it personally, I saw it as an opportunity to slap on my teacher hat. I explained to her that aging humbles people. It’s God’s grace to us as we become more talented, wealthy, and knowledgable. We need something that helps us approach the end of our lives with a heart that has learned to submit to God.
“What does humble mean?” she asked, reminding me that she’s not really a church kid.
“Oh. It’s…. It’s….” I dug around for a parable or something from the Gospels, but I was driving and taken aback by how difficult it was to define humility to a young teenager. So I came up with my own example using soccer. “It’s like someone who’s really good at soccer, but when they win they aren’t annoying or hurtful about it.” She laughed as I interjected stupid taunts from my annoying winner example. “And if they lose, they aren’t crushed in spirit or hating on themselves. Sure, they want to win, but they don’t assume they deserve it more than everyone else. They just work hard and encourage others as well as themselves. You’ll notice that you like humble people and don’t like arrogant people.”
“What does this have to do with aging again?”
I thought some more. “We were created to be beautiful and powerful, in God’s image. You can see some of that in life. Certain people especially, like movie stars and athletes, are awe-inspiring in their beauty or talent. But that can get to people’s heads. They can start to think they deserve the adoration of the world and can be ruthless in their efforts to obtain and keep it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually make them happy if they aren’t first grounded in something else. Age is the great equalizer. It eventually forces everyone to be sober about themselves. It softens their ego. Have you noticed there aren’t any really old athletes, and movie stars kind of lose their status when they lose their looks?”
“Yeah. You’re not making it sound any more appealing, though.”
I laughed — my niece is funny. “True. But we have to remember that God views things in light of eternity. In heaven we will never get old again. Meanwhile, in this life, sin would run rampant if God didn’t teach us how to surrender. And most of us are stubborn enough to need weakness to finally kneel at his feet in submission. It’s not pretty, but he disciplines those he loves (Hebrews 12:4-11).”
To be honest, aging is a theme I’ve thought a lot about. I’ve even included characters in my book that don’t age. It’s appealing the same way Elves in the Lord of the Rings and Vampires in Twilight are appealing. However, the more I think about such characters, the sadder I become for them, because their world is also fallen. This means they are left to deal with loss and pain for a really long time. And they have to bear separation from the God who loves them until some trauma destroys their bodies.
We all know in our gut that life is temporary. But we shouldn’t be afraid of aging or even of death. Our Father in Heaven has big plans for all of us, both in this age and the age to come.
Julia N. White
Gretchen Carlson
Julane Fisher
Thanks for sharing! My grandmother passed away at age 98. She was the most calm, humble and wise woman I’ve ever known. I’d gladly have accepted her wrinkles and slow-moving body if I also could have been gifted the wisdom to embrace her unwavering trust in the Lord.
Aw! That’s beautiful!
The older I become and the more I grow in faith, worry about death leaves. I am thankful to be His and to know my eternal home is with Him. 🙂
As we “grow up,” we begin to acquire and accomplish. We gain independence. We celebrate when we get a driver’s license or a job and our first paycheck. Perhaps we earn a degree, and we tackle challenges. We look forward to “growing up.” But at some point, age forces “letting go.” Careers end in retirement. There may be a loss of health, and perhaps the loss of friends and spouse through death. I’ve watched elderly individuals agonize over downsizing a home or giving up driving. I’ve wondered if it is the sense of “letting go” and not being in control that makes aging difficult. Only as we grow in contentment and humility, willing to trust God’s care — can we age gracefully and be able to accept changes that age brings. Thanks for your post!