Are Your Words Lightning or Bugs?

I am an author because I love playing with words.

I build worlds with words. I paint pictures with words. Words are music that play songs in my head.

If they’re the right words.

Author and humorist Samuel L. Clemens—Mark Twain—explained it this way: “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

You cannot make the tiny green twinkle of the bug to explode off the page like the electric shock of the lightning.

WORDS MUST FIT THE STORY.

If you’re writing a scary story, dig up frightening words. Your readers won’t feel chills icing their spines if you use mushy-gooey words: “The dragon’s fangs glistened like the soft eyes of a fuzzy kitten.”

Um, yeah, not scary.

WORDS MUST FIT THE CHARACTER.

“The archer drew her bow. The thought of piercing the dragon’s heart thrilled her like discovering a totally cute pink skirt for 50 percent off at the boutique.”

These words just do not match. Unless you want to show that your archer isn’t a warrior. Or you’re writing a silly story. Because that’s what you have—silliness.

WORDS MUST FIT THE SCENE.

“The caveman thundered after the woolly mammoth, but the mammal motored away like a Corvette on high-test fuel.”

Nope. You jumbled your time machine. A caveman would have no clue what either or Corvette or gasoline is, so they don’t belong in your story. The same for the verb “motored.”

By the way, I suspect “thunder” would paint a better picture of a mammoth running than the caveman. “Lumbered” might be a better caveman word. Dress your characters in the correct verbs.

SO WHAT WORDS CAN I USE?

If it’s a silly story, try goofy words in a cheery tone. A war story needs a serious voice.

Likewise, your characters need to speak in the voices true to them.

A farmer might describe a scene as being as pretty as a freshly plowed field. If your character says it’s as pretty as an isosceles triangle, I’m suspecting a mathematician.

Someone speaking in lots of big words conveys that person either is smart or a showoff—maybe both.

Find the words that fit your characters, setting, and tone of your story. I write humor, so I’m always asking myself if I can write that last sentence in a funnier way.

OH, AND CUT THE ADVERBS.

If your verbs need the help of adverbs, change the verbs. We want words that show us the picture like videos playing in our heads.

Instead of writing “Tom ran really, really fast,” try “Tom dashed,” or “Tom sprinted.” Or “Tom tore out of the room so fast that paint peeled off the walls.”

You have a whole tool box full of words. Keep playing until you find the lightning—or lightning bug—that illuminates the picture. Then dance to the thunder.